Do you carry the burden of hurt, but you have to do your work? Is your pain caused by someone who said something negative about you? Perhaps, a decision was made and it wasn’t fair on your end?
We can get emotionally hurt at work, specially when there is strong pressure to deliver and the stakes are high – yet we know that we need to get the job done. It is the professional thing to do.
But how do you deal with these hurts? How do you heal? How do you overcome temptations of getting back at the person? How do you start forgiving?
Here’s a story I found that may shed light. It’s called, “Sitting on a Bumble Bee”:
“Unforgiveness means we desire to hurt the people who have wounded us. It’s like the little boy who was sitting on a park bench in obvious agony. A man walking by asked him what was wrong. The boy answered, “I’m sitting on a bumble bee.” “Then why don’t you get up?” the man asked. The boy replied, “Because I figure that I am hurting him more than he is hurting me!”
The healing process begins when we get up off the park bench. God will only heal our wounds when we stop inflicting pain on the one who hurt us.” (Kent Crockett, The 911 Handbook, Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003, 43)
Let’s start the healing process. Here are 3 ways wherein we can begin to forgive and heal.
1. Initiate Dialogue
There are things that are difficult to resolve, and perhaps the situation is complex. A dialogue can be a starting point – to hear each other out. If it is awkward to confront the person yourself, a third person will help be helpful in facilitating an objective dialogue.
Dialogue helps in unburdening what is in your heart; to say your part and to be willing to hear the part of the other person in exchange. The goal of the dialogue is to understand perspectives and to ultimately to resolve the conflict.
For some cases, it may take several sessions, but you may be surprised that it may be resolved right away in one sitting. It may just take a humble gesture to initiate dialogue to address a conflict, especially when it is just a simple misunderstanding. Often, pride magnifies small issues, and rumors agitate the problem. It’s always better to talk it over face to face.
2. Have it as a goal to forgive.
Unforgiveness takes a heavy toll on us. It is harmful to our emotions and to our souls. The healing will only start if we forgive. Not to forgive means we don’t want to get healed. Jesus on the cross said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23: 34). Often it is hard to forgive those who have not even asked for forgiveness. If in your heart you know you are right, and you have been wronged, pray for that person that he or she may be enlightened to do what is right. Forgive them as Jesus forgives us – and you will start to be truly free and truly healed.
3. Continue to pursue what is just
Some may take the passive approach – “Just let it pass,” they’d say. Yet, these things get collected through grudges in one’s heart and one day it will just burst into a violent rage. There are procedures and policies available to address injustices. When you take action, the service that you’ll be doing is that you’ll be preventing pain, hurt, and unfairness from being done to others in the future.
When things get resolved, meaning, that there is an admittance of fault and the person is willing to make reparations, have it in your heart as a Christian to forgive and help. When given a second chance, most people will be grateful and will prove their value to regain trust.
God wants us to be free of pain and hurt. Choose to dialogue, forgive, and continue to pursue what is just. We have to cooperate with His graces and decide to take steps to our personal healing so we can truly be fired up at work!
“All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. (And) be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.” (Ephesians 4: 31-32)
What’s the first thing that you’ll do to address the burden of emotional pain that you’re carrying?
An author, trainer, and speaker. He is passionate about motivating people to live out their Faith in family, work and service. Follow Kirby Llaban
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